in the life…

I have been the wife of a student pastor pretty much from day 1 of my marriage.  Although Jared wasn’t the student pastor when we got married {he was actually the custodian, remember those fun times, Jare?! :)}, he worked with junior high students at our church.  I knew from the get go that I was marrying a pastor, shortly after I got engaged I changed my ringtone to, “The only boy that could ever reach me, was the son of a preacher man.”

Let me just say that most days as a pastor’s wife are fairly easy.  He goes to the church to work, and I go to school to teach.  Simple, right?!  And, then there are days where it’s tremendously exciting to be a pastor’s wife… days where the kids really “get it” and change their lives around.  Youth events and hanging out with the kids make those moments even better.

Nothing or no one can quite prepare you for weeks like this week.  How can I possibly make things better in the midst of a tragedy?  How can I support my husband when he has to preach one of his student’s funerals?  How can I relieve some of the heartache and pain that he is feeling?  Honestly, I can’t.  I’m actually horrible at times.  I try so hard to be strong, but I literally cannot hold back tears.  When people cry, I cry even if I don’t know why they are crying, or who they are for that matter!  Thankfully, Jared knows this about me, and doesn’t hold it against me, most of the time :).  I’ve found the only thing that I know to do is to pray and be there for him. (1John 15:7 “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”)  I regularly pray that God would guide and lead Jared while he is leading our kids, I pray for wisdom to make the right decisions for our family and our student ministry.  I pray that God would give Jared the strength and courage during the difficult times.  Mostly, I thank God for giving me a husband that loves so hard and is so passionate about our marriage and our church.

Yesterday, I asked Jared, “Are you sure you don’t want to work behind a cubicle where you don’t have to interact with people?”  He immediately responded, “Days like today make me realize that I am exactly where God wants me to be.”  Let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like being right where God wants you to be (Philippians 2:13 “for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His purpose”).

Even in the midst of tragedy, I wouldn’t change the life God has given me for a second.  I’ve been told by countless people over the years, most of whom are pastor’s wives… “you know, Amy, you don’t have to go to everything Jared does.”  “This is Jared’s ministry, don’t feel like you have to be there all the time.”  “It’s okay to miss something if you get burned out.”  I, wholeheartedly, disagree with that.  God made me a pastor’s wife for a reason.  Jared and I are in this together, and I will be by his side as much as I possibly can.  Who would want to miss those moments where kids are surrendering to the Lord, praying on their knees, lifting their hands in the air, turning their lives back to Christ, surrounding each other with love, and so much more?  Not me.

Even though I fail so many times, and don’t always have the right words to say, being a part of FSM has blessed my life more than I could have ever imagined.  Seeing God work through the lives of our students has completely changed me.  Thank you to everyone who continues to stand by our side, especially to those of you who invest in our kids.